She aint no Gold Digger!

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After much research and asking for people’s opinions, I finally have an idea of how men feel about women and money, and vice-versa. In fact, this article is going to explore some of the reasons why women say they would not settle down with a man who is broke, and how men think that women are actually after their money. I will begin by giving reasons why I chose to write this article and will close with MY opinion. This is definitely an interesting read so ladies (and gentlemen if you dare), enjoy this one!

Before I get into the issue, my definition of a broke man is, “A MAN WHO IS NOT AMBITIOUS TO GO BEYOND THE LEVEL AT WHICH HE IS. THIS IS A MAN WHO WANTS TO SETTLE FOR ANYTHING AND DOES NOT HAVE A LONG-TERM PLAN TO BUILD WEALTH FOR HIS ENJOYMENT AND HIS FAMILY’S. THIS APPLIES EITHER IN HIS CAREER OR HIS BUSINESS ASPIRATIONS”.

So while I am talking about this, do not get me wrong. I would marry a man while he is still performing on average, but not if he is not working towards a larger vision for the future. I recently began to open my eyes about the subject of money; particularly money and security. The interest sparked when I listened to a well-known South African Platinum-digger  ramble on about why she would never settle with a broke man. Though I do not agree with her methods of acquiring money, I believe that deep down every woman wants and needs security from the man she chooses to marry. It is a simple truth which cannot be denied that as women, when we are proposed to, we need to know that even if we bring a contribution to the marriage table, that the man is in a position to make sure that we move into his house, he has a car and that he can his bills. Traditionally, this is how it has been done for a long time but suddenly because women now can afford to purchase a Range Rover, a lot of men have decided to take a backseat. I know that in this materialistic world, the past decade has produced GOLD DIGGERS and it is not fair for the guys. I am completely against that. Yet, why is it that when a hard-working woman who can hold her own, when she says she will not marry a broke man… why is that a problem? And why are men increasingly become suspicious of females? I recently asked people to answer those questions for me and here is what the ladies had to say. These respondents are from diverse cultural backgrounds, races, but are more or less in the same generation group.

LADIES, WOULD YOU MARRY A BROKE MAN?

Most women certainly do not entertain the idea. Every woman that I asked responded by saying that she needs to feel secure with a man, and in fact is looking for someone who has a larger vision for his life. Not only will this help the marriage, but it will also make the children feel proud of their dad. Another point that struck me is, all of these women are people who are making it on their own and already have Masters Degrees, some Honours Degrees, others are even working and taking care of themselves. These women, who feel that they have invested too much of their time in their goals do not want to settle for a mediocre man. Other women stated that one of the biggest causes of divorce is due to financial difficulties. Others said that if they bring something to the table, they do not want a man who is going to bring only a tenth just because she is in a position to bring in a lot. The only lady who said she would, because love is love, also said that she knows that there are male users nowadays. One lady said that she believes that women have been conditioned to settle for less and that because men tend to frown upon women who want men with big goals (maybe because of gold diggers), women choose to settle. She also added that she would never settle for a broke man because she is going places and it is common sense to settle down with someone who is financially stable. In general, these women also agreed that money cannot buy love, but it WILL pay the bills AND the school fees.

 

GENTLEMEN, DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE LADIES ARE AFTER YOUR MONEY?

The largest respond was a resounding YES. The gentlemen who agreed to contribute spoke about how they cannot pick up a women driving a cheap car, how money makes the world go  round and that women notice men with money. One who made me laugh said he knows that the woman in his life is certainly not after money because of his dry pockets. I suppose what he was trying to tell me is, Neo, I found a woman who loves me for me. One even went as far as saying that if a man pretends he has money the ladies will come flocking. However, one gentleman said that it is unfair to paint all women with one brush and it is not absolute that all women are  after a man’s money. Apparently, men can still find genuine love. Another gentleman said that women who are after money are after security and that is so shallow.

MY OPINION

Any woman in her right mind wants security, especially those who are going to be home makers, without having to work, how else will they survive? Any intelligent woman who has found her passion for life and is working to make ends meet on her side will not settle for a man who wants to feed off of her or is not ambitious to even work harder. I believe that women should not have to compete with their husbands economically, but at the rate that the world is going, it is sad that this is happening. I am aware that there are gold-diggers lurking our streets and these women really just need to get a J.O.B. I do not respect what they are doing. I also believe that men should be careful then with who they will spend their money on, but must not paint all of us with the same brush and be stinging towards their wives, or not give a woman a chance simply because he fears she will take his money. If men are as smart as they claim to be then they can sniff a gold digger from miles away. Ladies, I encourage each one of you to keep shining and to hold your own. It is an amazing thing that you attract who you are. Once a man sees that you respect yourself, you can take control of your own life and that you act responsibly, when he is serious about you he will have no problem taking care of you once you two have settle down.

I would like to extend my sincere appreciation to those of you who contributed to the compilation of this article. God bless.


Image taken from http://www.blogs.smh.au

 

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5 thoughts on “She aint no Gold Digger!

    Caty Shemuvalula and Frans Sheya said:
    December 14, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    Based on the gender based stereotypes and conditioning that society has placed upon men and women, do you think a man is comfortable with his woman making more money than him? (Brilliant article Babes)

    Caty Shemuvalula said:
    December 15, 2010 at 2:26 am

    Based on gender stereotypes and societal conditioning, do you think a man is comfortable with his woman making more money than him? -Caty and Frans

      EzahLady said:
      December 17, 2010 at 6:10 pm

      Well I think the man would have to come to terms with that and as long as the woman gives him due respect then it should be fine. Truth is, most men are not alright with it so why shouldn’t they strive for more? Thank you guys

    Kaphamba Jackson said:
    December 15, 2010 at 7:33 am

    I think the article is generally good but i think u need to include the statistical analysis of the people u sampled and interviewed because as it stands now i sense your opinions emanating from the entire article.I will also like to see some citations for reference sake if its possible because the article now its like renarrating the stereotypes that we all know about politics of gender

      EzahLady said:
      December 17, 2010 at 6:12 pm

      The people ranged from ages 18-25, and I cannot use people’s names in articles to protect their identities. These are not my opinions running through; it is the what people really think. Thank you for your comment.

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